Juice Cleanse: Day 3

Day 3 of the juice cleanse started on the evening of Day 2. I woke up just before midnight. Things were starting to happen; things I thought would happen on Day 1. We’ll call it an evacuation of toxins. I guess this was the point, but it wasn’t pretty.

It also wasn’t miserable. I wasn’t sick. I didn’t need to stay near the bathroom, nor did I lose control of my bodily functions. It was just the kind of output you’d expect after days of only drinking fluids.

I went back to sleep and woke up feeling great. My wife actually said she could see a difference in my body. When I stepped on the scale, I weighed in at 194 lbs. I lost 12 pounds since I weighed myself the day before the cleanse.

Things were looking good. The wife and I went to the gym and worked out together. I’m definitely not going to say I was feeling strong, but I lifted things up and put them down for a while.

Just as the first two days, the major issue for me was feeling tired. Each day you were a little less tired though. I didn’t feel tired until about 4:00 p.m., but I definitely needed some couch time.

I sat on the couch thinking and telling my wife about all the glorious foods I would be able to eat tomorrow, especially grilling steaks for dinner.

“No, we can’t have that tomorrow. We have to ease back into those foods. Didn’t you read the daily guide?”

“Of course, I read it. I read right through Day 3.”

“Well, underneath, it talks about transitioning back to foods after your cleanse is over. We can have fruits and vegetables, and vegetable broth, or vegetable soup for the first couple of days following the cleanse.

Blank stare. Jaw dropped in disbelief. We didn’t come anywhere close to doing the pre-cleanse routine; in fact, we completely ignored it, but now we were going to follow the post-cleanse instructions? Nonsense. This is just not how we do things.

“If you eat all those things the first day back, you are going to feel terrible. This was supposed to be about cleansing our bodies and eating better.”

“I’m not sure I will feel terrible, and I won’t eat red meat, but I am definitely going to have meat and solids besides fruits and vegetables. We just spent the last three days having only fruits and vegetables. I didn’t do this to change my eating style; I just figured it would be a fun experiment, something to do that I had never done before.”

“So you don’t think you’ll ever do this again?”

“Never say never, but I can’t see it anywhere in my near future. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been an interesting three days, but I do not feel transformed into a new person.”

We settled on some middle ground in the food department. No red meat, but I will get to have some chicken.

Honestly, the cleanse was a good experience. Yes, I was tired, and yes, I was not feeling as mentally sharp as I usually do (although my wife says she felt even more mentally in-tune than she usually does), but I am glad I did it.

I never want to be one of those people who doesn’t try new things, especially when they are as easy as just sitting around drinking juice for three days.

At the end of Day 3, as I spooned our cat’s wet food out into his bowl and the air filled with its wet cat food scent, I knew I was ready. I knew it was time.

When a person is jealous of their cat’s dinner, and contemplates licking the spoon, just to see, just for a quick second, how it tastes - the experiment is over.